


Nighttime Battle

by rougefox



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Begging, Children, F/M, Go the F to Sleep, Houses of Westeros, ParentSandor, ParentSansa, Pups, The F-Word many many many times.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 05:28:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8877769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rougefox/pseuds/rougefox
Summary: Sandor tries to reassure his pup that there is nothing to worry about at bedtime so he can have some sexy time with Sansa.A retelling of Adam Mansbach's classic Go the F**k to Sleep.





	

**Author's Note:**

> SO I'm not doing the dishes.
> 
> So here is a rip-off, ahem, retelling of Go the Fuck to Sleep

The shadow cats nestle close to their kittens.  
The High Septan no longer leads the sheep.  
You are safe and warm in your bed, my pup.  
Please go the fuck to sleep.

 

  
The windows are dark in Wintertown, child.  
The krakens huddle down in the deep.  
I'll tell you one very last knightly tale,  
then you'll go the fuck to sleep.

 

  
The dragons that soar through the sky are at rest.  
Their pit is way down by the Keep.  
I know you're not thirsty. That's crazy. _Stop lying!_  
Lie the fuck down, my pup, and sleep.

 

  
The wind whispers through the ghost grass.  
The snarks, they make not a peep.  
It's been long _enough_ already.  
By the Mother, what the fuck? Go to sleep!

 

  
All the children in Winterfell are in dreamland.  
The frogs in the Neck have made their last leap.  
Hells no, you can't go to the privy.  
You know where you can go? _The fuck to sleep_.

 

  
  
The falcons fly forth from the treetops.  
Away in the Vale they soar and they sweep.  
A hot, crimson rage fills my heart, pup.  
Bloody hells: shut the fuck up and sleep!

 

  
The cubs and the lions won’t hurt you  
their house has gone to the heap.  
How is it you can do all this other amazing shit  
but you can't lie the fuck down and sleep?

 

  
The seeds slumber beneath the earth now,  
till spring when the farmers can reap.  
No more questions, this conversation is over!  
I've got one last answer for you pup: fucking sleep.

 

  
The stag has bed down with the she-wolf.  
The mockingbird has silenced his cheep.  
Fuck your stuffed doll, enough of this madness!  
Close your eyes, and sleep.

 

  
The Flowers have been cut back to the meadows.  
Their fall was from high and so steep.  
My life was a failure, now I'm a terrible parent!  
Stop fucking toying with me please, and sleep.

 

  
  
The bears from the island are snoozing  
As I sit here and openly weep.  
Oh by the gods, fine! I'll bring you some milk.  
Who the fuck cares? You're not going to sleep.

 

  
  
This room is all I can remember.  
The stone was laid fast, the mortar cheap.  
You’re the victor! You escape, you run down the hall,  
as I miss time with my little bird because you won’t fucking sleep!

 

  
  
I am bleary and dazed when my Lady shakes me  
To find your eyes shut, so I keep  
my breath held, as we tip-toe away  
And pray to the gods that you're finally fucking asleep.

 

  
  
I am finally alone with your mother.  
With my head betwixt her legs she lets out a squeak  
Oh shit, by the buggering Stranger, you must be joking!  
Go the fuck back to sleep!


End file.
